“Things aren’t looking good here. It’s best if you can come when you can to say your goodbyes.”
It was a call I expected but dreaded. I was already mentally exhausted from work, and this news felt like another blow amidst the multiple issues I was facing. As soon as I hung up, despite my fears, I finally took the leap and requested the time off I’d been delaying, blaming my overwork. In less than a week, I was on a plane to Puerto Rico, my homeland, not only to bid farewell to my kid brother’s grandmother but also to reconnect with my family and myself.
I had the opportunity to completely disengage from my regular daily life and embrace the nostalgia of living there again, even if just for a moment. I saw my family and my grandmothers—the ones still energetic but with the slowness of age—still offering everything they had in their homes to eat, sharing the latest gossip of the neighbors, recent church sermons, and their problems and worries.
I met with my friends, the few who remain on the island, as most have left for better professional opportunities, just as I did. Others simply wanted to escape the disarray left behind after Hurricane Maria. I also witnessed the changes firsthand and experienced that bittersweet feeling of being a tourist in my own land. Nothing was quite the same, yet it was also familiar. The popular spots I used to frequent were now filled with “mainlanders,” and even in job interviews, it felt like a 50/50 split between locals and non-locals.
It wasn’t the same Puerto Rico I remembered, but it was still enough to give me what I needed—that “refresh and restart” I was longing for.
Refresh
This trip provided a much-needed pause from my busy life, allowing me to briefly enjoy what felt familiar, or at least what I remembered as familiar from living there six or seven years ago. I visited my favorite beach on the mainland, Seven Seas, and relived cherished memories, sharing them with my mother and stepfather, neither of whom had ever been there. I soaked up that familiar suntan I used to get from being outdoors all the time. Walking through the streets of Old San Juan, I knew all the pathways and landmarks like the back of my hand.
Restart
I also embraced new experiences. I went kayaking in La Laguna de Condado, hoping to spot manatees but instead ended up helping my friends with their endeavors and watching turtles swim nearby. I attended a basketball game of Los Criollitos de Caguas with my cousins and niece. I even reconnected with someone after a job interview, a person I previously thought disliked me, only to discover how similar our paths had been.
It was a short trip, but it was enough to show me what I needed. I learned that it’s okay to pause and shift direction, to reinvent oneself, and to prioritize what’s best for my family and for myself, especially after the wake-up call of realizing what I had left behind.
I returned from that short trip with tears and anxiety, not wanting to return to what had become my reality. It was enough for me to realize the change was coming, and that I would be back soon (aside for that Bad Bunny concert that I know will bring more changes to the island).
(June 2025- Trip to Puerto Rico)
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