I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with Miami

Ok before you tell me “No, but Miami is amazing! It’s the new NYC, there’s something always going on…”, …I know. I’ve heard it all. Even my ex-boss would say this. So hear me out.

Miami is it’s own wild monster to tame. It has it’s charm, but it’s not for everybody. Exactly because it has turned into the “new New York”, it as become this type of fast paced, highly energetic, “unts, unts unts”* party never sleeps city, opulence, where people only are friendly if they need something of you, or by how you look and who you are with, where you have to turn into the person you “manifest” to adapt to this society. If your vibe is this, go for it.

Me? I’m not. It’s why I hated.

I lived and worked there for a year and a half in Brickell, Miami, FL. That was enough for me to know that Miami is not my kind of jam. Between the onlyfans people that were filming themselves walking their miniature dogs (all while they were inside their bags) in barely any clothing, spending over $150 in lunches, random ultra luxurious cars (that everyone says it’s because of men going into debt just for renting them to get women), following the OiD account to know what’s the new reason for the insufferable traffic (hint: it was either peacocks, a flash mob, someone jumping off a bridge, or a dead body floating. This last one happened too many times to be comfortable). Add to this the constant gossip of women getting drugged in bars, the homeless people between Brickell (and pick pocketers, like that time one of them tried to steal my luggage and I made it obvious without rising his alarm to the police people that got close), DTO MIA, Wynwood, Miami Beach, and a sprinkle of the rudeness and anti immigration Cubans (too many of them got too comfortable talking to me against immigrants when they themselves where immigrants to the country, and just felt they could talk to me that way because I’m “gringa” enough for them). There was this air of superiority over people whom “you deemed lesser”, and much push and shoving verbally. I was also living by myself during this time, which quite possibly influenced my crashing with this style where “single is the best status to be” when living here.

Also, rent. For the microscopic studio I had in Brickell-Miami, that didn’t have laundry, nor parking, nor any amenities; just the space of studio, kitchen, bathroom and barely a closet plus roach infested, I’m paying the same for a 2/1 apartment in Orlando with laundry in unit, as well as coin laundry in the community, pools, valet trash, and much more.

Personally I’m not that. I’m more into laid back, coffee shops to meet with friends and talk, rock and random concerts a la House of Blues and Hard Rock Live venues as well as small venues. Go on trails, walking around, go to sporting events that it’s more family friendly (Marlins’ stadium literally has a section that it’s a club, Miami Heats’ stadium also has parts that it’s night club style and party vibe). Invite me to go to nature parks and just feel nature or museums.

….I’ve outgrown the nightclubs (if I ever had that phase), I don’t think you need to spend over $150 on a mediocre lunch plate (also, where are all the good authentic Chinese places IN Miami? I don’t want to drive to Sunrise for it), and I like to dress comfy and casual, without showing too much skin and enjoy having my relax work. This lifestyle clashed too much with who I am, and I started molding to someone I wasn’t; it just added to my depression plus frustrated me. I basically ran away from Miami at the first chance I could find.

Granted, there are things I love from Miami.

Museums are great. I miss going to the Frost Science Museum after work. It was relaxing to see that large aquarium from the bottom, and stare at the fish and sharks swimming around. Vizcaya House and Museum transports you to a little piece in Europe, and the Miami Art Basel week was exciting to go and see (a bit too modern for my taste, but fun). The Wolfsonian-Florida International University and Miami Beach Art Deco were great history museums that were hidden gems in Miami Beach to go, and would love to go again.

Coffee shops. The Wynwood coffee shop Panther Coffee, the ones in Brickell (Ludlow, Cortadito, Raccoon Coffee, Inter Café with their $1 latte), Coral Gables (maman, The Cafe at Books & Books), and Coconut Grove (Emissary, take me back there) were great. They are few in each neighborhoods, and so spread out that managing to go to all of them, it was hard without a car (Bike riding everywhere had it’s pros in DTO Miami as well).

I miss having the ocean close. As an islander, I love seeing the water, it makes me feel at home, and calms me in stressful days. Sure, Central Florida has lakes everywhere, but it’s the ocean that calls me more with it’s soft waves and beautiful dark blue color and sometimes greenish blue color. The chance of seeing wild live manatees for the first time, something I was longing to see back in Puerto Rico, happened close to my offices walking back.

It was also funny to be in a main US city, where it was more Latin America than an actual US. Main language spoken was Spanish in the streets, often times I had to translate for my peers in Ubers, coffee shops, restaurants, and in meetings. There were also some small chances I got to practice my French with the Haitians. The Haitian Embassy is located in Brickell, and many of the public workers in Miami-Dade are from that Caribbean country, which made most public signs in English, Spanish and Haitian creole. They would be surprised when I would ask questions in French, and would excitedly respond back in a mixture of English, French and creole, making fun interactions in the trolleys and trains. Miami was had it’s diverse Latin American culture (with a few odd Russians and Ukrainians living in Miami Beach).

So, this is my fine detail on things to love and hate from Miami, at least for me. My experience is my experience, and although a lot of Orlandians share my sentiment on this, I still admit that it has it’s people to attract. Just that I’ve outgrown it, and moved to the closest city that could feel like home.

*Unts, unts, unts = sound that nightclubs and loud music heard from outside of cars and buildings sounds.